If It Means A Lot To You
by ExplicitMoxViolence
Summary: One-shot. Renee struggles to tell Jon how she's feeling and after a little pep-talk and some shopping with the girls, she finds her mojo again. The whole experience brings them closer together. Fluffy smut.


**Disclaimer:** **Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners.** **This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.**

 **If It Means A Lot To You**

 **-x-**

Renee was reading in bed when Jon got in from his bike ride.

"Sorry I'm late back, I took the long trail" he told her, stripping down and tossing his sweat-soaked clothes in the wash hamper.

"I was a bit worried, it's getting dark" she put her book down on the bedside table as he came over to give her a kiss.

"You don't have to worry; I'm not dead yet am I?"

"You totally got lost didn't you?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Definitely not" he laughed, taking off his underwear and tossing it at her.

"Ugh Jon!" she screamed. "They're _soaked_ with sweat. You're disgusting" she shook her head in amusement, throwing them back at him.

"Wanna join me in the shower?"

"No I don't" she rolled her eyes, picking up her book again.

He emerged fifteen minutes later in a cloud of steam. He dropped his towel, rooting through the drawer for a pair of soft shorts to sleep in. She took the opportunity to ogle his muscular ass and the back of his thighs, wolf-whistling at him. He turned around, shooting her a smirk as he dressed.

He collapsed into bed beside her with a relieved sigh.

"Tired?" she asked, looking up from her book.

"Very"

Renee closed her book and switched off the lamp. Snuggling down into the blankets, she was caught off-guard when Jon tugged her closer and kissed her. It wasn't a goodnight kiss, it was full of want.

"Jon..." she gasped as he rolled over her, pinning her to the bed. "I thought you were tired"

"I've had a sudden burst of energy" he rasped, settling himself between her legs. She felt his arousal against her stomach and tensed up.

He stopped kissing her, peering at her curiously in the dark.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong" she leaned up to kiss him again and he put a hand on her cheek to stop her.

"You don't seem into it, what's wrong...?"

When she didn't reply, he rolled off to the side. She could sense him trying to figure out what to say. He wasn't always good at communicating, but he tried his best for her and that meant a lot.

"If you don't want to talk about it right now that's okay, you can tell me tomorrow" he offered.

They lay there, staring up at the ceiling in silence. It was almost...awkward.

"Jon?" she spoke into the darkness, rolling onto her side to face him.

"Mm?"

"I don't want to have sex tonight...can you just spoon me?"

He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at the realisation that she wasn't mad at him, shuffling up behind her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Excuse my awkward boner"

She laughed at that, breaking whatever tension was left hanging between them.

"Is that all it was? You're just not in the mood? Cause you should have just said" he kissed the back of her neck.

She leaned into his touch, lacing their fingers together and things fell silent between them. She thought he was sleeping when he spoke again.

"I don't like the idea that you'd have sex with me when you don't really want to..."

"Jon" she protested.

"I'm serious. Why didn't you just tell me you didn't feel like it?"

"For the record, whenever we have sex, I always want it" she cleared that one up quickly, hating that he thought she was faking it. "I just...lately...my sex drive has just disappeared"

For a second, he looked hurt.

"I didn't want to say anything because I don't want you to think it's you...like I still want to spend all my time with you, and I love you, and I still think you're gorgeous. It's not you...I just...I don't even feel the desire at the moment. Not even when I'm alone and...you know..."

He frowned.

"I don't know what's wrong with me"

"There's nothing wrong with you" he said quietly, settling himself into the pillow behind her. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Only this past week maybe...I was hoping it would pass"

"Have you talked to the girls?" he stroked her hair. "I mean, I get like that sometimes but it's usually just when I'm hurt. I don't feel like I can be much help with this..."

"No...I'll talk to them soon" she promised. "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise" he mumbled into her hair.

"I just worry you don't believe me and you think it's you. It's not Jon. This book normally gets me kinda hot under the collar..." she pointed to her latest reading material. "...but I just read an entire steamy sex scene and nothing"

He smiled at that. "That's okay. I believe you. Don't worry about it"

"You're okay with cuddles for now?" she asked.

"You know I secretly enjoy a spoon"

 **\- x -**

"Nae Nae!" the girls greeted hugging her as she sat down for lunch with them. They had a lovely table outside the restaurant, the sun shining down on them. Rosa, Alicia, Paige, Summer, Nikki and Brie were sitting around the table enjoying a glass of wine and a catch-up. They talked about work and their plans for their time off while they ordered some food.

"So Nae, how's everything with you?" Alicia asked, waggling her eyebrows.

"I'm good"

"How's stuff with your man..." Nikki asked. For some reason, Nikki had always been fascinated by Renee's relationship with Jon, finding the two of them a strange pairing. Nikki and Jon were like chalk and cheese so Nikki didn't understand how Renee could have so much in common with Jon.

"We're good" Renee laughed.

Nikki narrowed her eyes. "There's totally something you're not telling us..."

Renee shook her head with a sigh. "Shh..." she put her finger over her lips. "But we're kind of having...bedroom issues"

"Ohhh, can he not get it up?" Rosa asked, concerned.

Renee laughed loudly. "No Rosa, that's not it"

"You know..." Nikki began one of her trademark stories. "...one of my friends, she told me she and her guy were having sex and she like...sat down wrong...he ended up in the ER"

"That is _not_ true Nicole" Brie scoffed.

"It so is, that can totally happen. It happened to my ex" Summer added.

"Guys...I didn't put him in the hospital" Renee laughed. "All his...stuff...is in perfect working order"

"What's wrong then? Is the spark not there?" Rosa asked.

"It's not that exactly. Like...I still like to stare at his ass when he's getting changed and he's still the sexiest guy on the roster in my opinion. My appetite for sex has just disappeared..."

"Oh babe, don't worry. It happens to all of us" Summer smiled.

"Not me" Nikki grinned.

"Of course not, Miss mirror above the bed. Like seriously, why do you want to watch yourself having sex?" Brie rolled her eyes.

"Seriously though? It's not just me?" Renee asked.

"Definitely not. I go through phases of it all the time" Brie told her.

"Me too" Alicia nodded.

"It's not your fault. Sometimes your hormones are just not feeling it" Summer shrugged.

"It'll pass" Brie smiled. "It always does with me"

"Oh my God, I'm so happy to hear that" Renee breathed a big sigh of relief.

"Why, is your boy getting a bit sex-starved?" Nikki asked.

"No, he's actually been amazing. But he's bound to start feeling neglected soon"

"Don't worry about it babe, it'll pass" Summer gave her a half hug from her seat.

"How about we get dessert, have another glass of wine and then go lingerie shopping" Nikki bit her lip as she made the cheeky suggestion.

"I don't know if lingerie is the answer" Renee sighed.

"It doesn't have to be. Lingerie makes you feel sexy" Nikki smirked.

An hour later after more wine and too much ice cream, they headed to a local boutique.

"Wow this stuff is _expensive_ " Renee frowned, the price tags in three figures.

"It's _quality_ " Nikki protested. "I might get something for John..."

Renee browsed the rails, looking for something to catch her eye.

"What does he like?" Rosa asked, peering over her shoulder.

"If it was up to him I'd wear crotchless panties and those bras that just go under your boobs all the time" Renee laughed.

"My ex bought me faux leather underwear" Summer confessed.

"Men have such skanky taste in lingerie" Alicia complained.

"You can be classy in public and skanky in the bedroom, nothing wrong with that" Nikki waggled her eyebrows.

"What about this?" Paige held up a totally sheer red bodysuit.

"How about no" Renee laughed. "If I'm buying something...which I might not..." she reminded them. "...then I want it to be sexy but demure"

"Ew" Nikki wrinkled her nose.

"Shut up Nicole" Brie laughed.

"I like this..." Renee picked up an all-black lace set.

"That's nice" Brie smiled. "Try it on"

"Black is boring. How about this red one?" Nikki held up a red satin set with black lace edging.

"Oooh" Summer grinned.

Renee snatched them both. "I'll try them on" she laughed.

Staring at herself in the mirror, Renee fluffed up her hair a bit and turned around to see herself from all angles.

"How's it going in there blondie?" Rosa called before unceremoniously ripping back the curtain.

"Oh my God Rosa!" Renee laughed, attempting to cover herself.

"Where have you been hiding that ass?" Nikki's eyes went wide.

"Girl you got it going onnn!" Alicia complimented.

"Thanks guys" Renee smiled. "You like it?"

"Definitely. You need to get that" Summer agreed. "The red is super hot"

"You're so beautiful Renee" Paige told her as they paid.

She blushed. "So are you" she echoed the sentiment.

"Jon's a lucky man"

Renee shook her head, looking down at the text on her phone.

 _Hope you're having a great day with the girls baby, can't wait to see you tonight. I love you x_

"No, I'm the lucky one"

 **\- x -**

That night, like almost every night that week, she'd curled up next to Jon in bed and watched a movie. He didn't once complain about the lack of sexual contact and that meant so much to her. It wasn't that she wanted to test him, but knowing that he loved her so much that he didn't even mention sex because he didn't want to put pressure on her...that just added a new dimension of love to the equation. She often thought about a future with him, but when he did things like this, it just confirmed to her that he was 'forever' material.

One night, they were lying in bed spooning. His arms were around her, stroking her hair softly. She pushed her hips back instinctively and he groaned. She realised what she'd done too late and he rolled off the bed.

"I'm gonna take a shower" he laughed, adjusting himself in his jeans.

She knew what he was going into the bathroom to do and as he pulled his shirt over his head, she felt her heart start to race.

"Jon..." she stopped him, crawling to the end of the bed. "Wait"

He turned around, a curious look on his face.

She reached out and hooked a finger around his belt buckle. She tugged him towards her and reached up, running her hands over his strong jaw. Bringing his mouth down to cover hers, she initiated the passionate lip lock.

He groaned into her mouth, wrapping a big arm around her waist and pulling her against his hard body.

"What are you doing...?" he mumbled against her lips when she popped the button on his jeans.

"I want you"

He let out a long exhalation of relief at her words, letting her pull him onto the bed. He would never, ever want to do anything before she was ready, but he was _really_ missing sex.

She straddled his hips, kissing him again.

"Thank you for waiting..." she whispered, tucking some of his unruly curls behind his ear.

"You shouldn't have to say thank you..." he protested.

"But I'm saying it anyway. I love you" she kissed the tip of his nose.

"I love you too" he told her, running his hands under her blouse.

"I have something I saved for this special occasion" she told him, slipping out of his grasp. He gave her a curious look as she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door. He lay back on the bed, resting a hand on the front of his jeans as he tried to stop himself getting overexcited.

She emerged a few minutes later, covered in a short black robe. Climbing onto the bed and settling herself back in his lap, he ran his hands up the smooth expanse of thigh he could see. Pushing the robe up just a little, he caught sight of her little surprise.

"Mmm...these are new" he raised a brow, running a finger under the black lace trim of the panties riding high on her thigh.

Renee felt a grin take over her face. Paige was adamant Jon would notice, but Renee had insisted he wouldn't. He was usually too busy trying to get to what was underneath to appreciate her choice of lingerie.

"Do you like them?" she asked, biting her lip.

"What do you think?" he asked, pushing the robe up further and grinding against her.

"I picked them out for you..." she whispered into the shell of his ear. "The girls helped me"

Jon groaned at that visual.

"You tried on panties for the other girls to see?" he asked, running his thumb back and forth over the red silk.

"It probably wasn't as salacious as you're imagining" she smirked.

"Oh I know exactly what you girls talk about when we're not around..."

"And what's that?" she challenged, leaning down until her hair formed a curtain around his face.

"Sex" he ran his hands further up her waist, fingertips brushing her ribcage as the robe opened up even more.

Renee tilted her head to the side. "Maybe" she brushed her nose to his playfully.

"I hope you only tell them good things about me" he smiled. "I also hope this is the matching bra..." he ran his fingers over the boning of her bra.

"I have a secret..." she leaned in to whisper. "...you always get rave reviews from me" she nipped his earlobe. "...and this _is_ the matching bra..."

Sitting back and taking his hands off her, she tugged the robe off and tossed it to the floor. As promised, underneath was the matching red satin bra with black lace trim. It clasped in the front with a little bow.

"God I love it when you look at me like that..." she breathed. The desire in his eyes made her heart skip a beat. Even after nearly two years, she could still get that kind of reaction out of him? That look made her feel like a goddess.

"Like what?" he asked, unable to keep his hands off her.

"Like I'm the only girl in the world"

"You're the only girl in my world" he leaned up to kiss her, feeling her shift back so he could sit up. She used her knees to grip his waist, his hands on her hips slotting her body into his perfectly.

"I love you" she mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too" he echoed, deepening the kiss.

"Your kisses are the best..." she moaned, bringing both of her hands up to cup his face.

"You think so?" he smirked.

"Give me another one, just so I can be sure..." she teased.

He leaned in, capturing her lips in a slow, sensual kiss. He traced the seam of her lips with his tongue, tasting her. As he pulled away, stealing her breath, he sucked on her lower lip and gave it a little nip.

"Oh my god" she swooned, falling into his chest. "I don't know how on earth I resisted you this long, but thank the lord my sex drive came back because you're driving me crazy right now..."

He smirked. "Mm...do that again" he hissed as she pushed her hips into his lap.

She did, a devilish smile on her face.

"You look fucking gorgeous" he told her, eyes dropping to her lips as she lowered her face to his. She kept her lips a few centimetres from his, moving every time he leaned up in an attempt to kiss her.

"You're a tease" he rasped, running a hand up her spine and cupping the back of her head.

"Yeah but so are you" she grinned as he used the hand on her head to bring her lips down to his.

The kiss became heated very quickly, leaving her gasping for air as they broke it.

"You gonna take this off or not?" she asked, taking his hand and putting it on the clasp of her bra.

With a quick twist of his fingers, the cups fell open. His fingers danced across her chest, coming up to tousle the hair around her face.

"You're so beautiful..." he smiled.

She blushed.

"I love that I can still make you blush like that"

"You'll always make me blush when you say such sweet things" she whispered, running her hands through his soft curls. "You're gorgeous, that's why your fangirls are so jealous that I get to see you naked whenever I want" she bit her lip.

"Speaking of naked, I love these panties but can you take them off already?" he tugged at the leg.

"For you..." she whispered. " _Anything_ "

 **\- x -**

Lying beneath him, his hard body resting over her as he pumped away, she questioned how she'd resisted this long. She'd already climaxed once and as she clung to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin, she felt another on the horizon.

He was grunting softly, right next to her ear and god, that sound turned her on.

His face was damp with sweat as he kissed her shoulder.

She gasped as his hips collided with hers again and again. Her back arched, a whine escaping from low in her throat.

"Shhh" he whispered, knowing she wouldn't want Joe hearing them through the wall.

The closer she got to falling over the edge, the harder she found it to keep quiet.

He quickly covered her mouth with his own, swallowing down the desperate cry she emitted. He felt her legs trembling as her feet on the back of his thighs pulled him closer.

She lazily looped her arms around his neck, scratching gently at the base of his hairline as he neared his own climax. As exhausted as she was, she absolutely loved feeling him fall apart in her arms.

Bringing his head down to hers, she whispered a string of obscenities into his ear, words that would make her blush in the morning. And with a low moan, his hips stuttered a few final thrusts and he came.

She felt him tense up in her arms, his face pressed into the soft skin of her neck as he came down from his high.

"Fuck..." he exhaled, flopping down on his side.

"You can say that again" she agreed, a big grin on her face as she rolled onto her side to snuggle into his chest.

"Was it good for you?" he asked, a cheeky smile on his face.

"Mmm, you know it was" she pressed her naked body against his. "You look like the cat that got the cream" she pinched his chubby cheek.

"That's because I did" he ran a hand down her spine, pulling her into a slow, sensual kiss that left her wanting more when he broke the contact.

"You make me _so_ happy" she whispered.

She'd missed the deep emotional conversations they'd have lying in bed after sex. They were pretty good at communicating their feelings anyway, they promised never to go to bed angry at each other, but he was always more vocal about how deep his feelings went in the afterglow.

"You have no idea" he hugged her tight to his chest.

"Tell me then" she urged.

He was silent for a moment, just looking down at her through heavy-lidded eyes. When he spoke up, it made her heart skip a beat.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me"

 **\- x -**

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